I met Andrew for the first time during the Subud world congress at Innsbruck Austria. I believe it was mutual, it was like meeting an old friend. We hit it off right away and this can happen in Subud and outside of Subud. This closeness has remained over the years. Andrew visited me in Kandy Sri Lanka later and this is where he told me of his extra ordinary dream and how it changed the course of his life. I suggested he document it, he sent this to me not long after and you have it now. Like Andrew, the proof of the latihan and guidance has come to me in different ways over a span of more than Sixty years. Where the impossible becomes reality.
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I was opened in 1980. At the time, my wife Stephanie and I had just begun setting up a pottery workshop, our first child Lucy was born that year too.
After about three or four years I began to feel unhappy with my chosen career, the dream of having my own pottery studio had turned into ash and my days were becoming a chore. In desperation I turned to the helpers of the then Guildford group to test. In fact it was not too difficult as I know I was a maker, it was just that working with clay was no longer satisfying. I was fearful as to what the result of the testing might be, what if my pottery career should turn into a life sentence? We decided to test how it was for me to work with different materials: clay, metal, glass, wood. As it turned out wood was fantastic, I was singing and working and feeling so happy and light. I wept with relief, "Thank God he knows!" The helpers tested the time scale and it was clear i had to wait for the time being.
Some time later I had a vivid dream in which I entered a room in which Bapak was seated. I sat in front of him and asked, "What do I do?" Bapak looked at me and replied, "Plane three pieces of wood." So I went away and taking three identical pieces of wood, planed each in turn, the first in an ordinary way, the second with attention, and the third with love. I took them back to Bapak, who picked up each piece in turn and weighed each in his hand. Taking the third piece and looking right into me he said, "This is what you do." I awoke feeling incredibly alive and aware of a perfume in the room.
Two or so years later we were on holiday with Subud friends walking in Snowdonia. n the last day in the evening we did latihan together and as we sat quietly beforehand, the thought, "Tomorrow you go back to work," stole into my mind. My heart sank into my boots and for the first 15 minutes of latihan I felt dreadful. Eventually I stopped trying to do the latihan and prayed, "Please God, show me my true latihan." Immediately I began to sing and found myself working wood, just like in the earlier testing.
I returned home, made one more kiln, and sold all the equipment, (by this time Stephanie had stopped potting to look after our child). I shut the pottery door for the last time and stepping out, started my first carpentry job that same day and never looked back.
Over the ensuing years I have tried to accept and face the challenges that came along with courage and determination. It was evident that even though I did not know it, wood had always been in my blood. (On the maternal side of the family there was a strong tendency towards civil engineering). In time I found my way into building structural oak frames and remember vividly the feeling of exhilaration at completing my first major solo project after weeks of painstaking work. I had come home to myself.
There have been so many extraordinary events and blessings along the way. I know that I am not clever enough to be successful without a lot of help, and guidance, and I pray that I (and my fellow travelers along the way) may be shown the path and have the courage to follow.
I have realized that my dream was not in fact a dream at all. Bapak had called my soul to himself so that I could receive an instruction necessary for my life.
