None other than Ichsan Ahamed's only offspring once said, "I searched the web for information of my father but found little or nothing."
This is amazingly true, but with one exception, Varindra Vittachi mentions Ichsan in his early documentation of Subud and the latihan. It is strange that this person, who played such a vital role in the spread of Subud in the early years, 1957-1958, is almost missing. The man who opened members numbering in thousands. I am trying to fill this void. If there are omissions, I ask readers to please forgive me.
I am including what I knew and what I had heard first hand from people like Ronald & Rosetta Jayatilaka, Varindra Vittachi, Rusely Sideek, Ravindra Weerakoon and Laman Goonetilleke in my original article "The year of Grace". I had a glimpse of Ichsan when I first visited the Subud house at Torrington place in March of 1958. However I remember well the first person I met that day. It was a good omen. It was Laman, my maths teacher in high school. He was surprised to see me and promptly asked, "What are you doing here?" At a loss of words, I echoed back, "What are you doing here Sir?" Then we laughed and laughed as we both saw the humor of the situation.
In my article, "The year of Grace", published sometime in 2003, I mentioned many things I gleaned from Lamaan, Ronald & Rosetta Jayatilaka and others. With BYM's (Bapak) visit to Ceylon in mid-October which included Siti Rahayu, Siti Yati and Indira who was a very young child, and Ichsan as interpreter. I rely on my memory of those glorious 40 days that followed.
Like Bapak, Ichsan did not look like a typical Indonesian - I came to know this later. He looked bigger, more strongly built and no doubt a very strong person. There was always the shadow of a smile on his face, and he could break out into laughter easily that was real, I believe someone later called him the "Laughing saint." If he got serious it showed immediately but would lighten up quickly. What was obvious even then was his sincerity and dedication to Subud. His dedication to BYM was something else, which must have come from knowing who BYM was from his inner self. His often repeated the words, "It's not me, it's Bapak," or, "It's the wahayu." (about which we were clueless at that time).
Today the meaning of those words has clarity, 61 years later. When BYM or Ibu Rahayu sends you on a mission, it comes with a grace - and those who have experienced it will know what I am talking about. Anyone can receive this grace - if Almighty God wills it. For a man who could not have had much time for formal schooling - he was a formidable guerrilla fighter even as a young man from all accounts I have heard - he was wise in the ways of men and women, and this must have come from an inner understanding or guidance from the latihan. He had to be wise as Ronald & Rosetta mentioned, he never took sides during his first two visits though many a petty issue surfaced, and members had plenty of them, as Nafsu - as we know it today - was having a heyday.
Ichsan was a very normal person and behaved as a very normal person. He didn't put on spiritual airs, "Anyone who can enjoy a cold beer and a cowboy movie is my kind of Dude!"
There are these fascinating stories told to me by Ronald Jayatilaka and Rusely sideek and others.
During his first visit to San Francisco, Icshan was taken to the Golden Gate Bridge by some Subud members. He apparently started counting one, two three... Using his inner vision he could see the people who had jumped off of the bridge!
Ichsan had shared this story with Ronald while drinking a beer at Ronalds home. According to Sideek and other members who visited Trincomalee with Ichsan, he did the same thing at a place near the beautiful Trincomalee natural harbor in the east coast of Sri Lanka. With his hand movement he followed the leap of many who had jumped from this place and taken their lives. The origin of the lovers leap point is fascinating and tragic. Legend has it that during the Dutch Era, a beautiful Dutch lass ended her life by jumping off the cliff into the bay. It is fenced off by barbed wire today to prevent access to the what is known as "lovers leap point."
There were two sayings of Ichsan's that still linger in my memory, "Do not get serious with the Latihan, God might not take you seriously," and, "Before God - Nothing." Yes, if we get serious about the latihan it can block the very ability to receive it. We can value it and respect it but not get serious. And "Before God - nothing." We cannot have any conditions, images or anything before God, no spouse or child, no guru - just and empty void.
Icksan used to say that people drop off from Subud if they come to Subud for the wrong reason. The proof of this I witnessed before long. Towards the end of Bapak's visit, three young men from my High school turned up at the Subud house. I was overjoyed as they were the first young men of my age group and I promptly took them to Ickshan. I introduced them and Ickshan got quite and closed his eyes for a few seconds and said " Subud very difficult, please leave now. Maybe later".
The trio walked away, and I was more shocked than them and walked away myself and I heard Ickshan's foot steps behind. He put his hand on my back and said "it is alright, it is alright."
Only several months later did it become alright. I met two of the Trio at the annual Cricket match between our school and our arch rivals. Promptly they returned to the incident at the Subud House and asked me " hey, how come you fellows have all the fun and keep us away" After many questions, it turned out the young men had heard that Subud members. men and women get together at some point and have a sex orgy ! Today what Icshan observed, has a deeper meaning, If we come to Subud for the wrong reason, it is a matter of time before we give up.
The world's great religions teach us to love God more than ourselves. Total surrender, standing naked before the power of God. I think Ichsan understood all of this clearly, but his limited command of the English language was obvious. Yet he got through sooner or later. As a helper of Bapak, he set a benchmark we can only dream off, in a whole lifetime. No wonder BYM said in the talk he gave in Ceylon on Icksan's last birthday in 1958, "His Path to God was straight as an Arrow."
PS I wanted to add this for historical/archive reasons. Not all of the talks Bapak gave in 1958 was recorded. In fact he gave a short talk on arrival to all those who had gathered at the Subud House, and he gave a very long talk that evening. I did my best with a used Japanese recorder later on. (Brand name "Nishikura") Only other person who could figure out how to use it was Rusli Sideek. We missed recording many of those valuable talks.
