A few Ceylonese (Sri Lankans) were opened in Coombe Springs, UK, in 1957. Among them was Tarzie (Varindra) Vittachi, who was to play a major role in the spread and development of Subud in the world.
The year of grace began on 28 December 1957, and the mission of bringing the gift of the latihan was entrusted by Bapak to Icksan Ahmed, who arrived in Sri Lanka on 28 December with another Indonesian Helper, Mas Rackman Pane. That very evening about fifteen people were opened, the majority of whom were members of the Gurdjieff group, who were mainly responsible for financing the trip. It is said that the Gurdjieff group, which had been struggling for membership, swelled in numbers just before the arrival of Subud.
The first openings and latihan were held at the spacious house of Ronald and Rosetta Jayatillaka, on Brownrigg Road, Colombo. Leslie (Ronald) Jayatillaka, a government servant, was by remarkable coincidence given this spacious bungalow just before the arrival of Subud. On New Year's Day 1958, Mariani Bulbul arrived in Colombo and five women were opened that day.
In those days there was no waiting period and not many explanations were given. It was, "Be opened, receive and experience first and explanations later." Amazingly this approach did work, as most of those who were opened at the very beginning remained in Subud throughout their lives, and today less than ten are alive.
So began the year of grace. Icksan Ahmed was to visit Sri Lanka two more times as the group grew into hundreds and it is estimated that well over a thousand people were opened by the end of 1958. It was a magical time... a time for miracles, and Subud members did have extraordinary experiences, but I believe Mr. Nafsu was also having fun and a great time. From notes of the late Lamaan Goonetilleke "Icksan and Bulbul did the latihan, opening new candidates and exercising with the steadily growing number of those who had received the latihan. Yet this did not mean the day was done for them when all the latihans and openings were over, and Leslie and Nalini (Rosetta) could lock up their doors for the night.
For there were many who were not satisfied by what they had experienced. Their experience had only whetted their appetite and added to their hunger. There were others who were surprised and troubled by the fact that they, who had diligently been following many spiritual paths for years, had felt nothing at their opening, whilst others standing next to them, virtually picked off the streets, gave vent to loud responses or went into dervish-like gyrations. So they waited every night, and Icksan unfailingly obliged them by coming down the stairs to the sitting room when all the spiritual exercises were over.
He sat in his usual place, smiling and tranquil, his face radiant with inner sincerity. Seated in an ample armchair with a close circle of ladies, including Mariani Bulbul facing him, and the men squatting on the floor, spilling out into the wide verandas and even into the garden, he held court. His knowledge of English was minimal. Most of it was a strange kind of shorthand, and yet (this was and is the essence of the mystery) he held his audience completely captivated..."
When Icksan and Mariani left on 20th January 1958, 221 men and 101 women had been opened and a few men and women were appointed as Helpers. It was during this time that I received the Subud contact, under strange circumstances, a Doubting Thomas for certain. Being the youngest member, just out of my teens, in a group of older people, posed unusual problems. Yet it is the proof of the enduring power of the latihan, I am still here and an old man now. Something strange in what happened during the year of grace struck me recently. There was an invisible but real influence of four different groups that contributed to the growing numbers of Subud members in Sri Lanka: the members of the Gurdjieff groups who joined Subud en masse - the media members (the Vittachi connection) - the Muslim community - and the Abeywardena family.
Two Muslim brothers were prominent in Sri Lanka. Faleel Cafoor was a businessman and a politician (later to be knighted) and Ismail was a lecturer at the Colombo university and city coroner. Many a Muslim came to Subud because of these two men.
Another prominent citizen was the Hon. Dudley Senanayake (then leader of the opposition and much loved son of Sri Lanka). Bapak said of him, "Which other man has been given three chances?" as Dudley Senanayake had been elected thrice as prime Minister after he resigned twice! The Inspector General of Police, Mr. Osmund de Silva, was the other prominent person now doing the latihan. The circumstances of how he came to Subud that was circulated at that time is worth mentioning. Two police officers who were instructed to check out Subud had joined Subud as regular members and their report to the IGP had influenced him to join Subud! The fourth source of members was the Abeywardena family, who I believe are unique in the Subud world, as not only did the entire family (parents and five children) join Subud, but also the spouses and eventually their children. It did not stop there; soon cousins and second cousins and other relatives were to join Subud and some of them are scattered all over the world. Australia, Africa, Canada, New Zealand, UK and the USA became home to these migrant families.
Sri Lanka had won its independence from the British without a bullet being fired and the Island was a tranquil and peaceful place to live. Yet dark clouds were gathering, regarding the nature of which none had any inkling or foresight. It was ethnic conflict sparked by a small incident that was to change our lives forever. We had a dawn to dusk curfew, and life in general was very chaotic and disruptive. Even so, latihan did not come to a halt, we had early latihan at 5pm for those who were willing to risk the 7pm deadline. Many risked it and came for latihan, among them was Raman from the Tamil community.
The Tamils were the minority and were being persecuted. Often Tamils were pulled out of buses and beaten up, and one day while Raman was on his way to the latihan the bus was stopped by thugs, and many a Tamil was beaten up. The bus was stopped and all Tamil males were dragged out of the bus and beaten up. Raman stayed in the bus and was aware of the latihan all the time. He turned up at the Subud house shaken but untouched.
Amidst this chaos in late May or early June, we had a visitor whom many had heard of but few had seen. By this time the group had moved to a spacious bungalow that belonged to a diplomat who was living abroad. It was John Bennett who had contributed so much to the growth of Subud. This was a major event. He gave a few talks and told many stories that kept us spellbound. Being a mathematician among other accomplishments he had computed that if each Subud member in the world at that time would bring just four people to Subud, then in sixteen years the whole of humanity would be in Subud. It did not sound unreal to me or a distant dream at that time and many of us believed and had this vision of the whole of humankind worshipping Almighty God in our lifetime. I made sure that I met this quota of four, three dropped out but one stayed in Subud his entire life. Little did we know that there are many light years separating reality and fantasy!
News from John Bennett of the possible visit by Bapak to Sri Lanka had most of us in another world. In my case it was to change the course of my life, as I was preparing to leave that summer for the UK to further my education. The next three months were spent in great anticipation and speculation regarding Bapak's visit. We did not have the Internet, or even good communications in the Subud world, so we imagined and dreamt - and it was a good time to dream.
It is hard to believe today the situation that existed in Sri Lanka just before Bapak's first visit to this island. Here were a group of people from all walks of life, with diverse interests, ages ranging from twenty-one to eighty years old. There was a fair representation of the four major religions in the country - Buddhist, Hindu, Christian and Muslim - a Jewish couple, a Zoroastrian couple, and a few atheists who kept coming in spite of their beliefs! What bound them together? If ever there was proof of the grace we had received through the latihan, this was it. The outside world by now had definite ideas about what was going on at the Subud house. To the more enlightened it was a house of political intrigue; others believed it was a house of ill fame; and to a person who walked by the house it was definitely a nut house from all the strange noises that came forth!
Ickshan Ahmad had delicately avoided the guru role. He was our spiritual adviser and buddy rolled into one. A man who would smoke a cigar and even have an occasional beer was not our picture of a spiritually high person, yet we paid attention to what he had to say. He was always accessible and with a smile most of the time. That he had special affection for us was unquestionable and even with his limited English vocabulary he communicated in a way that was uniquely his own. It would be difficult not to have a special place in your heart for someone like him. He had laid a firm foundation before Bapak's arrival, but the numbers had dwindled to less than a hundred.
October 16th 1958, Bapak set foot on Sri Lankan soil for the first time. The arrival time was around midday and those who could get time off work came to Katunayake airport with high expectations. This Airport was used for the larger airplanes, as it had a longer runway. As we pressed against the fence to get a glimpse of Bapak, the sense of expectation was tremendous. The plane landed and came to a halt, the mobile steps were pushed into place, and the door finally opened. Shortly, Bapak stepped forward and came down the steps, followed by his two daughters and grand-daughter Indra - Icksan in the rear with a load of hand luggage. As we watched, Bapak and party walked (almost ambled) towards the terminal building, the first thing that struck us was how young Bapak looked that day. Bapak was fifty-eight, but looked forty-eight and not a day older. Before us there was a bespectacled Indonesian gentleman, impeccably dressed in western clothes. Bapak came out of the arrival lounge and shook hands with all those who had come to see him.
Bapak and party stayed at the Subud house, which was spacious. The family occupied the upstairs and it had a large living room, which the ladies used for latihan. Icksan occupied a room downstairs. The members had worked with great care to prepare the house for Bapak and party. We noticed a change in Icksan; he was subdued and even looked serious and this was the man who had told us not to get serious with Subud, as God may not take us seriously! Bapak gave a brief talk and thanked all the members for the special care they had taken in preparing the house to make him comfortable. This talk was never recorded (only a few who were present that day are alive today) as no-one was prepared, and even later many of the impromptu talks that Bapak gave never got recorded. As I was into electronics, it fell on me to do this. I did my best with poor recording equipment as I was a student at that time, and I believe only three talks were eventually salvaged. Yet I remember one thing Bapak said that evening, as it had special interest to me. He said that many people from Ceylon (as it was called then) would go to other countries with the spread of Subud. I was elated. Many members and families moved to other countries within two years, but I had to wait many more years for my turn. However, I was awarded a scholarship and spent some time in Canada in the mid-sixties.
That evening after dinner we had latihan with Bapak, the men on the ground floor and the women upstairs, and all those who were there that evening had their reward. Those who were present that day recalled later the change in their latihan. For those who doubted, there were no more questions or uncertainty, and the word got around and people came in numbers. Soon we had two half-hour sessions for men and it even got to three some days.
I recall one incident when three young men from my high school walked in. I was overjoyed. Here were some men of my age who still had some fun left in them. Quickly I took them to Icksan who was in his room. My expectation was that they would be opened that very evening. I introduced them to Icksan, making sure he understood that they were from my school. Icksan stood there and momentarily closed his eyes and very quietly, but in no uncertain terms, said, "Go away, Subud very difficult, maybe later". I believe I was more shocked than them, as they left without a word.
The sky had fallen down and as I walked away in disappointment, Icksan caught up with me and put his arm around and said, "It's all right, it's all right," but it was not all right for a long while till I let it go. A few months later I ran into two of them at a cricket match and they hailed me and said, "How come you are having all the fun while we are left out?" With a few questions light was shed. They had heard from a reliable source that men and women in Subud got together and had a sex orgy! Even so, one of them became an applicant and got opened but soon dropped out.
We had regular latihans and talks and Bapak visited some of the members' homes. Once Bapak requested to be taken to a Chinese restaurant. We were taken aback as in those days Chinese restaurants served everything daubed with pork fat. But who could question Bapak's wisdom. He ordered plain rice, vegetables and baked crab!
There was a small group in a small town called Nawalapitiya. This was in the heart of the tea growing area over three thousand feet in elevation and about a hundred miles away. The roads were not very wide once you got to the mountains, however Bapak decided to go and visit this group and also wanted to visit a tea estate. While looking for a comfortable car for Bapak, Mohammed Sideek offered to get his bro-in-laws' brand new Cadillac. He arrived with a uniformed chauffeur and only a few members had turned up in the morning for the trip. Around 8.00 am Bapak came down and walked up to the parked car and got in with Ickshan. As we were getting ready to get into two other cars, Icksan got out of the car and indicated that someone in Subud should drive.
There were no volunteers at the start and then suddenly Mohammed Sideek volunteered to drive. I was next to Varindra and I remember him squeezing my arm - he was sweating blood! Sideek, as everyone knew, had very poor eyesight, night blindness and was about five feet two. When he sat in the car he could just about see through the windscreen. Bapak said, "Sidiek, you drive," and off we went. We made the trip safely and it was almost dark when we got back. Later, much later, I asked Sideek how he had managed to drive, and his answer was simple. "I just drove, it was as if the car was driving by itself." Years later Sideek and I drove around a lot, but I always drove. It had to be a special day when I would let my trust and faith be tested by letting Sideek drive me around. On another occasion, while Bapak was having a picnic by the lake, he talked of his ancestors and said that one of them called Jayatilego had been an army commander in Sri Lanka in the distant past.
No-one today could accurately say how many were opened - hundreds of men and women were opened by the time Bapak left in late November. By now the group had a fair representation from all levels of society except from the very poor. By the middle of November there was more order and things were predictable to a certain degree. There was latihan three times a week, talks once in a while. Wednesday latihan was for all the members (Fridays for helpers only) and on Sunday we had a double session, one at noon for those members coming from far-away places. There were a few members coming from the town of Matara one hundred miles away in the south, a five hour journey with luck! So began the custom of having latihan at noon and even the members around Colombo started coming for this latihan. It became very popular and often we had lunch together and hung around the Subud house. This tradition of the noon latihan has lasted to this day, even though at one period there were hardly any members from outside of the capital city and its suburbs. In Sri Lanka, forty-seven years later, the noon latihan is still the most popular if we go by attendance.
Bapak occasionally took a field trip or visited a member's home for lunch or dinner. Otherwise he stayed at the Subud house. By the middle of November there was another subtle change. Many of the dedicated, or rather the diehards, started to hang around the Subud house in the daytime and then even late into the night. I do not know why we did this, as most of us were working. It was just that we wanted to be near Bapak and it was a kind of inner compulsion no one really understood. One sunny morning Bapak walked down the stairs and out into the garden with Icksan following, and found a bunch of us out there just idling. He asked, addressing no-one in particular (Icksan translating), why we were not at work. Raj, a young lawyer, was quick to reply "Bapak we are all sick." Bapak looked around and commented that he did not see anyone ill. Raj's answer of, "Bapak, it is our inner that is ill," had all of us laughing and Bapak was very amused.
On non-latihan days, late into the night, those who hung around were rewarded sometimes. Bapak would ask those men who were present to come up to the sitting room upstairs while he sat quietly smoking 555 cigarettes and sipping Coca-cola. We sat on the floor. Occasionally he talked, and on the few occasions that I was present, I must confess that I promptly fell asleep when he started to talk and woke up later. This happened to many of us, I found out.
Icksan forbade those who were not asleep to wake up those who fell asleep, saying, "It's your inner that can receive and your inner will receive the content of Bapak's talk even if you are asleep." Those present sometimes asked all kinds of questions of Bapak. In true innocence and ignorance I took my chance to fire the first question I was to ask Bapak. "Bapak, how long will it take to be free of the material forces?" Such a serious question from the youngest member needed a serious answer. Bapak took his time and said, "Four years, maybe eight or even sixteen," and then he paused and looking around with a beaming smile said, "Why, it could be thirty-two!"
Bapak was very kind. He would not dash my hopes or upset the delicate balance. The truth we something we must find in our own time, and only Almighty God would know the truth.
On another occasion, there was this Subud brother who worked in customs. He had a solid gold cigarette lighter which he carried in his shirt pocket. The only time he would remove it from his person was when he did latihan, when it was on the floor with other personal objects like his wristwatch and money, etc. One day Bapak, while giving one of his impromptu talks, took out a cigarette and was searching for his lighter when this Subud brother, who was in the front row, stepped forward with his lighter in hand. Bapak took the lighter off his hand, lit the cigarette and slipped the lighter into his own pocket, with a "Terima Kasi," and a slight bow! I am sure this brother, with a burden removed, had much lighter latihans.
As time went on, Icksan seemed more preoccupied and we attributed this to Bapak's presence. His devotion and dedication to Bapak's welfare and needs was unbelievable. He used to stay in his room or hang around with those who were there downstairs and occasionally Bapak would ask for him and he would almost run up the stairs. On many an occasion Icksan used to talk about his wife Ibu Ismana and the little infant daughter Isti, whom he hardly saw as he was always travelling from country to country carrying the Subud message and opening new members. Having heard this, Varindra and a few other members offered to buy an airplane ticket, so his wife and baby could travel to Colombo.
Icksan was overjoyed and ran up to Bapak with a few other members following him. Icksan broke the news to Bapak and (as Lesley (Ronald) Jayatillaka told me later), Bapak asked Icksan to decide or test for himself, Icksan tested, then thanked Varindra and informed him that it was not necessary! The significance of this event we were not aware of at that time, but very shortly we would know the truth. Around this time we also found out that it was Ickshan's birthday and a hurried birthday party was organized for him. During this party Bapak talked about Ickshan and told us how he had been a guerrilla fighter during the Dutch and Japanese occupation and though he had been in Subud for only a few years, through his dedication and sincerity his path to God had been as straight as an arrow. Few men had received such praise from Bapak then or during the years that followed, and it took a while before we understood how truly he had earned it. In those days the biggest social event in the City of Colombo was the Governor's Cup, and the ball that followed. A gambler by nature, Herbert invited Bapak to the races and Bapak accepted the invitation. At one of the early races Bapak pointed to a rank outsider - and this horse won. Herbert was excited and asked Ickshan to ask Bapak to select a horse from the Cup entrants. Bapak's selection was among the last and Herbert lost a lot of money. Slowly but surely we were learning about the true purpose of the latihan.
On another occasion Bapak visited Dr. Robert and Vigitha Abeyawardena's home for dinner. After dinner he was seated in the garden (as told by Leslie Jayatillaka and Aubrey Walpola) and he closed his eyes and received, and said that Sri Lanka was underwater so many million years ago and would be under water again in the same time period! The same night, he pointed to a star in the blue sky and said that in that star there lived a being who had been praying to Almighty God for thousand years and he pointed to those Subud members seated around and said, "You are so fortunate, you have already received the latihan."
There is this gem of a story that Varindra touched on in his writing, but was told to me by Ravindra Weerakoon. A Subud member who was a Buddhist asked Bapak this question, "Bapak, you talk of the prophets and messengers of God. What about the Buddha, did he receive?"
Bapak's reply: "When you say Buddha, there were many Buddhas, in fact twenty-four of them. If you mean Gautama, yes the stories you have heard are true. He was a prince who renounced his kingdom and went in search of the truth and towards the end of his search he was seated under a Bo tree in meditation. He made a commitment to himself that he would not leave this place until he found the truth.
As years went by, Gautama realized that time was running out and he would die of failing health and weakness if he continued. He had two choices, one to go back home and claim his rightful place or die under the Bo tree. He made the decision that he would rather die and find out what he did not know than go back to the life he already knew. This moment when he let go everything - he received - and this, he said, is what is called the moment of enlightenment in Buddhism."
Bapak further went on to say that unlike the messengers of God, the Buddha did not have a witness, then he said (not mentioned in any Buddhist literature) that there was a witness, it was the Bo tree! That, he said, is why wherever Buddhism spread, the Bo tree followed.
One other extraordinary thing Bapak did during his stay that year was that he had a helpers' meeting, and among other things he received a message from each of the messengers of God and passed a message from each of them on to the helpers! None of those who were present and alive today can remember the content of those messages.
We had lost track of time, but time waits for no-one. It was time for Bapak to leave, and hundreds of members had arrived the evening before to bid Bapak and party farewell. He gave a farewell talk and shook hands with everyone present, and already members were planning to visit Bapak in Cilandak. Bapak and party left for Singapore and within a few days, through the Subud grapevine, we heard that Icksan had passed away in Singapore after having a heart attack. I cannot speak for others, but the shock wave must have been the same for most of us. By now I was a welcome visitor at the home of Lesley (Ronald) and Nalini (Rosetta) Jayatilaka at Brownrigg Road where the first latihans were held. When I arrived, there were few other members already at his home and, as Ronald put it, it seemed very unreal that a man at the prime of his life should be taken away. Icksan Ahammad was only thirty-five years old. Ronald, Varindra and Faleel Caffoor went for the funeral in Jakarta.
On their return Ronald told me about this conversation with Bapak which he repeated many times over the years. After the funeral, Ronald had waited for the right opportunity, and asked Bapak why Icksan had to die as such an early age. Bapak had explained that it was Almighty God's will, that even Bapak the man was disturbed by the passing of Icksan, but the real Bapak was untouched by the event. Then Bapak had reminded Ronald of the day Icksan had come to Bapak to get permission so that his wife and daughter could come to Colombo. This, he said, was Icksan's final test. He further went on to say that Icksan already knew that those were the last days of his life, and if we had paid attention to Icksan, we too would have known too. It was then that many of us recalled how Icksan never gave a commitment to return again to Sri Lanka, along with many other things he had done and said which should have given us an indication. Finally Bapak had said, as if to console us, that Icksan loved the people of Ceylon, and those who can see will see Icksan standing near the door in his customary place while we were doing the latihan at the Subud house. Like Ronald, Rosetta and many others on hearing this understood a fundamental truth; that the path of Subud was never going to be easy and we too must one day be put to the test. We were truly fortunate to have this understanding so early in our Subud life.
We celebrated the first anniversary of Subud Sri Lanka on the 28th of December. 1958, I returned home quite late that evening and my maternal grandmother, who lived with us, normally went to bed very late. While having a cup of tea with me, she suddenly popped this question for the first time, "Son, what do you do in Subud, and who is this man Bapak?" The question did not surprise me. My mother's family were Christians and very religious people. What surprised me was that she had waited so long. Without taking much thought, I replied in my mother tongue, "Grandma, the man we call Bapak is someone like Jesus and with him the same grace has come to this world once again. What we practice is receiving this grace."
She was content with my answer. It was an immature and emotional reply, yet forty-some years later I have no better answer, for it was the simple truth.
Yet, who was Bapak? The real answer is that no-one really knows, short of having a direct revelation. But about the grace we can say a little more. Like many who have received the latihan, I have no doubts or questions any more that this grace (the latihan) comes directly from God, and the proof we have is that Bapak is not with us any more, but the latihan has remained undiminished.
So ended the Year of Grace. It was a blessed time, and we were so blessed to be here at the same time that Bapak lived on this earth. We were even more blessed to receive this immeasurable gift we call the latihan.
I would like to acknowledge my gratitude to Ronald and Rosetta Jayatilaka, Varindra Vittachi, Mohammed Sideek and Suran de Silva, who witnessed and shared with me what I have written; most of all to Laman Goonetilleke who kept notes up to the day Bapak arrived in Sri Lanka. (Only Suran is alive in London today.) I also ask forgiveness from all Subud brothers and sisters and members of Ickshan Ahammad's family, who in reading what I have written may feel that it is out of place
