What is written is a collection of stories of some Subud members born in Sri Lanka have experienced in the course of their lives after joining Subud or even before. It is more like being a live witness to a process that took place in their life. The spiritual realm or the inner world is real for those who have experienced it, as real as the outer world we perceive through our five senses. These stories may have value for those who are more than just curious and for posterity. The writer has made a decision to just use the Subud names or initials as most who shared these experiences are not among the living. It is fitting that we start with Ronald and Rosetta as Subud Sri Lanka started in their home in 1957 where the first latihans were held, with the arrival of Ickshan Ahammad and later Mariani Arnold.
In the early years many a Subud member from this Island if traveling abroad East would try to find their way to Indonesia to meet Bapak. On this occasion Ronald was visiting Bangkok, Thailand and first went to Indonesia. While in Jakarta, Bapak had given this explanation about why progress in Subud seems difficult. He ask Ronald to imagine a stream where water was flowing and at one point some colored dye is introduced into the stream. This dye now must not only flow forwards downstream but also backwards. This Bapak compared to receiving the latihan or God's grace by an individual where now the latihan will touch seven generation of ancestors and even seven generations that follow. This he went on to explain is the problem, where one must not only raise oneself to the next level but also your ancestors. From this we can assume that spiritual growth is far more complex than we had imagined. Ronald had a surprise now when Bapak explained that he had another reason for going to Bangkok. There were some people who lived in Bangkok who were interested in joining Subud, and Ronald was instructed to give explanations about Subud to them. Ronald told us that at the beginning he felt anxious as he had been in Subud for less than a year and a helper for even less time, but once he started to talk words just came out and he was truly surprised about the content of what he said to these people.
One of the most important messages that Ronald shared with us was an explanation that Bapak had given to him during his visit to Jakarta for Ickshan Ahammad's funeral. Ickshan had died on his way home in Singapore where Bapak had made the last stop of his tour in 1958. It sent shock waves throughout the Subud world then, especially with those who had come to know Ickshan even briefly. We in Sri Lanka felt the loss deeply and the writer remembers Ronald asking this question, "How can this happen, that a man in his prime is taken away?" Ronald was one of three people who went to Jakarta for the funeral. All of us were still feeling our way in Subud and the Latihan, and were too immature to understand how the grace of God can effect each individuals life.
When the opportunity arose, Ronald had asked Bapak his burning question, and Bapak's reply threw some light onto the spiritual world. Ickshan had spent his last birthday in Sri Lanka and during this time he kept saying that he hardly saw his wife and child due to the demands of Subud. Some of the senior members passed around a hat to collect contributions, and offered to buy a tickets for his wife and his daughter - who was still an infant. Ickshan was overjoyed, and intimated to Bapak about the ticket offer in the presence of Ronald. Bapak had asked Ickshan to decide, and Ickshan - after receiving inner guidance - said it was not necessary. We did celebrate Ickshan's birthday a few days later, and Bapak told us things we did not know about Ickshan's life, and said that he had done latihan for only a few years but through his dedication and sincerity his path to God has been straight as an arrow. Now Bapak reminded Ronald - in answer to his question - about the time Ickshan had followed his inner guidance. This, he said, was Ickshan Ahammad's final test. When Ronald returned from Jakarta, some of us gathered at his home and stayed up into the wee hours of the night, those present - when we heard this explanation - were shocked again. Slowly in our own spiritual journey, this question of being tested - that is mentioned in all holy scripture - unraveled little by little. Each of us have to go through these tests. Each one will be tested according to their capacity and no more.
Ronald and the writer came from the same town and went to the same middle and high school. It could be due to this, or possibly as I think now, that Ronald sensed I was on the razors edge - being the youngest among a group of older people. Ronald and Rosetta made me feel at home, I became part of their family before long. We spent much time together, and Rosetta was a loving mother who raised two young boys. I came to know each member of Rosetta's family, and life was moving at an easy pace. Disaster struck from nowhere in our utopia. The younger son of the family was killed in a freak accident that left all of us shaken to the very roots of our beliefs. Ronald was devastated and took a long time to recover. Rosetta however seems to be able to cope with the situation in a different way, so much so that one of her sisters asked me, "What is wrong with my sister, has she lost all feeling?"
It was a much later, when Ronald and Rosetta had moved back to Ronald's home town that Rosetta shared something with me. She said she had had some kind of premonition or sixth sense about the death of her son before it happened, every time the feeling of sorrow came on the latihan would pick her up and so she never went through what Ronald had to experience. It was a proof of an amazing grace. It was around this time I became aware that Rosetta had known for some time about an illness she had, and the enormous risk she took living an ordinary life. When it came, it would come quick and fast. Bapak once said in Sri Lanka that humans are normally born of fate but when touched by the grace of God it can change/modify our fate.
The next stage of our lives took a different and unexpected direction, and I am very much convinced that there was guidance for all of us and our families. I was married now and had two children of my own. In the early seventies, Ronald and I moved to the North American continent with our families.We lived thousands of miles apart and kept in touch by phone, and one day I received a phone call informing me that Rosetta had passed away. She had touched the lives of so many, and many felt that her influence was something special. Many years later I met a Subud sister in her thirties at the Subud world congress held in Spokane. Seeing my name tag she asked me if I knew Rosetta and Ronald, who had once lived in Ottawa, Canada.I said that I knew them, as we came from the same country. What I did not tell her was that I had lived in Ottawa when the group first started in the mid-sixties, nor that I felt closer to Rosetta than my own sisters, who were very loving siblings. At the end she came out with the statement that she had never known a person in her life like Rosetta, she hesitated and came out with these words, "She was so loving and human." Yes, I knew what she had so eloquently expressed.
I met Ronald in Toronto in 1979, by this time Ronald had lost his beloved Rosetta and was very much immersed in Subud work, being one of the International helpers. There was a calm and peaceful feeling about him now, that I had not known before. We parted - agreeing to meet again soon - but life for me became busy with many ups and downs, and it was only by an accident of timing that we met in Sri Lanka again, until he retired, and moved back to the country of his birth.
I met him every year in the nineties, he rarely missed latihan and lived by his old school in Mt. Lavinia. Once, while visiting him, he told a remarkable story about Bapak, which happened when he was an International Helper and travelling with Bapak. This was during a visit by Bapak to New York in the early eighties, and the next stop was Montreal, Canada. All arrangements were made for Bapak and gus party to fly to Montreal, this was during the month of the Ramadan fast. At the very last moment, Bapak indicated that he would like to travel by road. In their search for a driver who was a Subud member, they found a Subud member, a Helper at that, who was a professional Limo Driver. While Bapak's party flew to Montreal, Bapak, Ronald and this Subud brother at the wheel took to the road. The journey went smoothly, and as they were approaching the Canadian border, Bapak had spoken out loud and said he would like to have a cup of tea. When the Subud brother heard this he had reminded Bapak that it was not yet time to break fast. Bapak had smiled and looked out the window of the limo and casually commented to Ronald that even the Angels in Heaven took orders from Bapak. This incident tickled Ronald's sense of humor, and he repeated this story to no end many times to his brothers and sisters in Sri Lanka during the last years of his life. There are many stories like this that Subud members witnessed to give a clue as to who Bapak was. But in reality no one actually knew the real Bapak other than glimpses like this on rare occasions.
